


Mine in Yours

by Sekundi



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Extreme Hand Holding, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, I mean it this time, Pre-Relationship, Trans Female Character, roselia mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sekundi/pseuds/Sekundi
Summary: One winter evening after rehearsal, Yukina walks home with Sayo, and reflects on their relationship.
Relationships: Hikawa Sayo/Minato Yukina
Comments: 36
Kudos: 82





	Mine in Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the events of Umbrella For The Autumn Rain.

Sayo’s hands were practical. 

They served their purpose in Roselia well, and thus Yukina had an excuse for staring at them as they travelled up and down the fretboard of Sayo’s guitar. Of course Yukina played guitar too, but Sayo was exceptional. Even if she didn’t realise it, even if she called her sound lifeless, Yukina was in awe as she watched Sayo’s fingers curl to a difficult chord, or hold her pick loosely like it was second nature. It probably was to Sayo, at this point.

Even if Sayo disliked her sound, she’d never considered that someone else could love it. That that someone could be in her band, right by her side. Though Yukina thought that Sayo didn’t generally believe such things were possible.

Sometimes, Yukina would guide where Sayo’s hands needed to be on the fretboard for certain songs, and their fingers would gently brush. Sayo’s fingers didn’t move from where they pressed into metal, and Yukina idly thought that that meant it was her fault, that she was looking for reasons to reach out for Sayo. Which was a position she couldn’t have imagined herself in just a few months ago, but Roselia had opened her to so many new scenarios, and so she was content for her heart to guide her along this uncertain path.

She’d never been one for romance, and she didn’t know when she’d started feeling this way for Sayo. Some part of her strongly suspected it had been right from the start, when they’d first met, and she’d simply never realised. She could regret the lost time, but that would be a waste. Instead, Yukina vowed that even if she wasn’t going to tell Sayo how she felt quite yet, she would try and communicate how special she was. Communication had never been her expertise but for Sayo she could try.

After all, Sayo was the one person who punched herself down even more than Yukina did.

Sayo’s hands were neat. Her fingernails were all perfectly filed to the same length, until they were barely there at all. The tips of her fingers were red, a harsh red Yukina could tell wasn’t natural. Skin pressed into metal and scratched against rough surfaces until it was raw. Sometimes Yukina couldn’t see those angry red tips at all, because they were hidden by plasters that Yukina probably would have had to instruct Sayo to put on in the first place. Sayo would look down and mumble an apology about how she was ‘hindering Roselia’s progress’, and then Yukina would gently, yet firmly remind her that no matter what heights Roselia was reaching for, their member’s wellbeing always came first.

Sayo often had no reply to that, like the words didn’t truly register in her head.

The feelings blossoming within Yukina grew every second she was in Sayo’s presence, which was to be expected, seeing as she was letting them. And - unversed in these matters as she was - she thought that perhaps those feelings were returned by Sayo. It was a lot to wish for, especially as some days she wasn’t quite sure what she was wishing for, but step by step, the stoic leaders of Roselia had grown closer. After that rainy day, when Sayo had resolved she would keep playing guitar until she created a sound that she could be proud of, Yukina had fallen into a rhythm of spending more time with Sayo so easily she had hardly noticed it.

Yukina invited Sayo to the park, to let Sayo see a side of her she normally kept under wraps. Feeding cats was an embarrassing hobby, in some ways, considering her reputation, but she had nothing to hide around Sayo. And in turn, Sayo took her to new places, a quiet bookstore outside of town Sayo often visited for peace, the first live house she’d ever played at, even into Sayo’s own home. Yukina had never been to anywhere Sayo showed her before, and now she’d never be able to return to them without thinking of Sayo. But it wasn’t an issue. Far, far from it.

And yet as the emotional distance between them diminished, the physical distance remained as large as ever. Sayo had come so far with them in the band, and yet she still kept to herself. She froze up when Lisa flung an arm around her shoulder, or stepped back when Ako got a little too close and enthusiastic.   
  
But when Yukina brushed her fingers against Sayo’s, or walked in step so close their shoulders touched, Sayo didn’t move away. In fact, it was almost as if Sayo wanted to reciprocate, in some way, but was afraid to. Yukina wanted to tell her that it was okay, that she could move closer, but for once she didn’t have the words to. The thought of hugging Sayo, or even just holding her hand seemed so far off, but Yukina didn’t mind. She knew how caught up in her own head Sayo could get. Sometimes, Yukina tried to guide her out, back to where she and the rest of Roselia were waiting, but sometimes she would have to stand by and let Sayo work things out herself. She didn’t mind, though. She was very patient. 

And so Yukina didn’t care that if all they had right now was the brush of fingers, or the gentle bump of shoulders. Those little touches belonged to them, and so they meant the world.

The arrival of winter wrapped around them all before anyone could even register it. It was actually the season Yukina liked best. It gave her a reason to curl up inside away from the cold, and not be forced to go out with others. And summer was always an irritation to any musician, especially when practising in a small room with others for hours on end. Yukina much preferred the days where she could wrap up warm indoors, and focus on her music.

Despite the cold outside, today their little studio had been full of energy. However, Yukina knew Ako and Lisa had some sort of dance club activity after rehearsal, though, and Rinko wanted to get home before dark. As such, she’d taken care to wrap up their session promptly, allowing everyone to pitch in with packing up.

As Lisa and Ako bounded out of the door, Rinko following at a more regulated pace, Yukina and Sayo’s eyes met. Sayo zipped up her guitar case and gave her a shy smile.

“Shall we walk home together?” Yukina asked.

The small nod Sayo gave her was all she needed in reply.

It was chilly outside. It wasn’t late, but the sun was already dipping below distant buildings and making the quiet streets around them awash with colour. The wind whistled through Yukina’s ears and her shoes clicked against the hard pavement. Sayo walked next to her, hair slightly ruffled by the breeze. It was cute. She didn’t say as such to Sayo, knowing it would cut through her cool attitude and paint a blush across her cheeks, and she’d decided she’d be kind to Sayo today and leave her pride intact. Even if she loved seeing that coolness slip away.

Sayo’s hands were elegant. Perhaps it was strange to be looking at them right now, especially when the scenery around them was so vibrant, but Yukina had never been big on vibrant colours anyway. And besides, she did enjoy simply looking at Sayo, although other than her face, she did enjoy her hands the most. And she couldn’t help but pay extra attention to them now, not when long fingers normally buried into the fabric of her guitar case were idly swinging by her side, close to Yukina’s, so close to Yukina’s.

Their shoulders were bumping and their fingers were brushing and it was enough but Yukina couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she took that brave next step. Would everything change? That was a ridiculous question - of course it would. She couldn’t explain away wanting to hold Sayo’s hand. The real question was whether or not she wanted it to. For years she had kept her heart locked in a cage and thrown away the key to fully devote herself to music, and letting someone in was, in some ways, the most intimidating thing she’d ever considered doing, but often, the things one wanted were the most terrifying of all.

She’d never been one for romance, but what if it was her own?

“It is a pretty day today, isn’t it?” Sayo said, and something about that made Yukina bridge the gap and intertwine her fingers with Sayo’s.

For a brief, still moment, the gravity of what she had done didn’t sink in. But then Sayo made a small noise of surprise, and she _realised._ She, Yukina Minato, the lone songstress, averse to love, to friendship, even, had reached out for her bandmate, her _friend,_ Sayo Hikawa’s, hand.

She really couldn’t explain this away, could she?

“Sayo-”

“Minato-san-”

A pause. Their footsteps slowed to a stop.

Yukina began to wonder that what if she’d been wrong, that she’d misread the mood. Her assumptions about Sayo were normally accurate, but what if she’d failed this time? The thought was almost too much to bear, but it must be worse for Sayo. And so she began to pull away, but before she could-

Calloused fingertips pressed between her knuckles.

“Please. Stay.”

Yukina looked up, up into Sayo’s eyes. Sayo was biting her lip, and there was so much emotion in her expression it almost made Yukina’s heart ache looking at her. “I want this. So please stay.”

Slowly, and probably with more grace than the first time she had, Yukina threaded her fingers with Sayo’s. 

And _wow._

Before, she had been too caught up in realising what she’d done to focus on the sensation. But now, it was as if every part of her was hyper-aware of her hand in Sayo’s, her whole body tingling. It was so unlike anything she had ever experienced before, and yet, she found herself not only quickly growing used to the sensation, but loving it too. Holding someone else’s hand was such a simple action, and yet, on this winter evening, it brought Yukina so much warmth.

Sayo seemed to be enjoying it too, if her tell-tale glance to the side and blush indicating her bashfulness were anything to go by. “Minato-san, should we… continue walking?”

But it wasn’t as if she was in much of a better state. Despite the walls that had appeared around her over time as she dedicated more of herself to music, Yukina smiled so easily around Sayo.

“Yes. I’d like that.”

Sayo’s hands were bigger than most other girl’s. Yukina had seen this as nothing more than an advantage at first - it would only assist Sayo in being an even better guitar player - but over time, she’d come to realise how Sayo felt about that fact.

Because during rehearsals, during Sayo’s tougher days, she would look down at her hands, _‘I have to get better’_ written all over her face. But there was another emotion, too - the one that appeared whenever Sayo cast a critical eye over ‘too long’ fingers or her ‘too large’ palm. On those days, Yukina would always make sure to give Sayo an extra compliment on her skills, but there was only so much she could do. 

There were so many parts of herself Sayo would relentlessly tear down in her mind, without ever telling anyone aloud. Yukina knew she couldn’t understand, but what she did know was that right now, her own dainty hand was being held by Sayo’s ‘too long’ fingers and pressed against Sayo’s ‘too large’ palm and yet she felt so comfortable, so warm, so at peace. And she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Saying this was difficult. But she had sworn to try.

And yet before she could even open her mouth, Sayo whispered her own thoughts.

“I never thought I’d get to do this.”

They were still walking, and the wind was still whistling, but it felt as if everything had gone still. “Why not?” Yukina asked.

Sayo exhaled, her breath sending a misty cloud into the air. “There is a part of me, I suppose… that feels like I do not deserve to hold your hand.”

Yukina wasn’t looking directly at Sayo, but she gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Well in that case, know that I want this. I wouldn’t have initiated it otherwise, would I?”

Sayo chuckled lightly, but there was still that nagging emotion written all over her face. “Still, though, there is a part of me saying that… if I touch your hand, it’s like I’m sullying it.”

Sayo’s hands were hated by Sayo herself. Even if Sayo could recognise the convenience of them when it came to guitar, she looked at them so sadly otherwise. As if she was eternally wishing them to be smaller, for her palm to shrink and for her fingers to be less thick. Yukina knew this, and yet it was the first time Sayo was confessing it to her. 

“Because your hands are so perfect and mine are so… not.”

Sayo’s hands were practical and neat and elegant and the most talented Yukina had ever seen and the only ones she had ever wanted to hold and adore and-

Sayo’s hands were…

They were…

They came to a halt again, Yukina stopping as she looked Sayo square in the eye as she had so many times before, and yet it was different now. She lifted their still joined palms, until they were just below Sayo’s eye level.

“Look at my hand, Sayo.”

Sayo did.

“Does it look any different to you, than it has on any other day?”

Sayo shook her head. “N-No.”

“Now look at yours.”

Green eyes moved once again.

“My hand looks the same as it always has, so clearly you are not sullying it at all. And I know… I know what you think when you see your hands, Sayo. But what I see are the same hands I see belonging to you every day. The ones I admittedly spend too much time looking at in rehearsal. However, most of all…”

Yukina ran a thumb gently along Sayo’s skin.

Sayo’s hands were _beautiful._

“What I see right now is the hand I chose to hold.”

Sayo seemed as if she wanted to say a thousand things, but didn’t. Instead, she kept gazing at Yukina, the wind curling around them like a blanket as their eyes conveyed all the things that needed to be said.

“Do you understand?” Yukina asked, her voice having fallen to a quiet whisper.

Sayo slowly nodded. “It is difficult for me to believe such things… but you do have a way of making your point clear, Minato-san.”

Sayo was smiling a little and Yukina a lot as she slowly lowered their hands. Yukina had spent so long not smiling at all that her muscles still ached slightly whenever she did, but did she care when it showed Sayo how she felt? Of course not.

They continued walking again, the warmth seeping through Yukina and combating the bitter wind. This was so much better than walking alone, against the storm - with Sayo by her side, she felt almost unstoppable. It was… a dramatic thought, in all honesty, but the more Yukina considered it, the more it rang true.

Yukina glanced at Sayo again, only to find Sayo doing the same at her. Their eyes met with two soft laughs, and the air grew even more comfortable between them. It was so, so pleasant.

Yukina knew that Sayo disliked more about herself than just her hands - her voice, her shoulders, her sound - but Yukina loved them regardless. Every chord from her guitar was her own. Every mark on her hand had a story.

Yukina would keep loving those things, loving Sayo, until Sayo understood why. And no matter who Sayo grew to be, Yukina was confident she’d keep finding new things to love, and that she’d be able to share them with Sayo.

Their footsteps stopped for a third time. They’d reached the corner where they normally parted. Sayo turned to her, but she didn’t pull away her hand. “Well, Minato-san, this is me.”

Yukina nodded. “You did well today, Sayo. Make sure to get proper rest.”

Sayo smiled. “I will. And, um… this was really enjoyable. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to do it again.”

Yukina didn’t think she’d agreed on something with Sayo more in her life. “Of course.”

Well, all good things did have to come to an end. And there would be plenty more opportunities to hold Sayo’s hand. And yet, as Sayo began to step away, Yukina found herself pressing her fingers between Sayo’s knuckles, the same way Sayo herself had earlier.

“Actually, Sayo…” she began, feeling the tiniest piece of bashfulness creep up on her, “would you like to visit my house? We can… work on compositions, and I think my mother is making curry tonight. Carrot-free, I might add.”

There in the fading sun of a winter evening, Yukina witnessed Sayo’s lips fall so easily into a smile. Like an enthusiastic puppy, almost. Another thing she would certainly never get tired of. “I’d like that very much, Minato-san.”

And when Sayo smiled like that, Yukina had no choice but to return it.

They resumed walking again, but this time in a different direction. Towards Yukina’s home, on the path to the future, hand in hand.

The sun had almost set, and yet the world was so much brighter, with Sayo by her side.

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to demonladys! This is my first time writing any trans content and she checked this over for me. go read her fics they're great
> 
> anyways i think sayo hikawa deserves happiness

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [What we hold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25068967) by [astralprojects](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralprojects/pseuds/astralprojects)




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